


Redaction

by anna_thema



Series: Sapphic Resonance [1]
Category: Control (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:53:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21782491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anna_thema/pseuds/anna_thema
Summary: She can fly, she can throw a forklift through the air with her mind, but she can’t ask out her crush on one stupid date. Jesse Fade, Director of the Federal Bureau of investigations, scourge of the Hiss, can’t get the thought of Emily Pope out of her head.And it’s driving her up the wall.
Relationships: Jesse Faden/Emily Pope
Series: Sapphic Resonance [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1681960
Comments: 16
Kudos: 134





	1. Handshake

**Author's Note:**

> Just Jesse and Emily being useless and in love with each other. Took a turn into some hurt/comfort in dealing with the trauma of the Hiss, but nothing these cuties can't deal with :)

She can fly, she can throw a forklift through the air with her mind, but she can’t ask out her crush on one stupid date. Jesse Fade, Director of the Federal Bureau of investigations, scourge of the Hiss, can’t get the thought of Emily Pope out of her head. 

And it’s driving her up the wall.

“Director Faden?-sorry, Jesse?” Emily’s knock is tentative, like she’s scared of entering the directors office.

“Yes Emily?” Jesse’s been getting that a lot lately, apparently Trench cast a long shadow.

She swallows, hoping that her new Head of Research doesn’t notice the blush creeping into her cheeks, or the way her eyes travel down the curves of her body.  
Jesse’s first few days as full time director have been hectic to say the least. Mopping up the remaining Hiss is a slow going, and it going to take weeks before they can reopen the bureau. Emily’s been in and out all the time, bringing updates on the Hiss or Dylan, god, Dylan, today though is different, and not just absent the mile high stack of paperwork for her to review. Emily clears her throat expectantly

“Just wanted to stop by and let you know that the Ranger teams have finally secured Executive, the cafeteria has been cleared as a safe zone” Emily is so eager, no matter what she’s saying. Focus Jesse, this means we can finally live of more than vending machines. Still, it’s hard to look at Emily Pope without feeling like   
you're staring at a star

“That’s wonderful Emily” Jesse makes a show of shuffling some papers and takes a drink of coffee to hide her awkwardness, “I’m sure Arish and his crew will be   
delighted”

“Yeah! I mean, don’t get me wrong, The Oldest House stocks it’s vending machines pretty well, and the coffees great, but I’m so glad we’re getting at least an ancillary kitchen going. I mean, the one in Research is better, but I’ve had interdepartmental meetings before and this one’s pretty good so I was actually gonna go down there and grab something before returning to work, so…” Emily trails off as she seems to realize she’s rambling on.

Jesse’s spent more time than she should have over the past 48 hrs contemplating the ethics of having a crush on the new Head of Research. Bureau organizational structure means that there isn’t a rigid hierarchy among the higher ups, the Director is more of a scapegoat or conduit than an absolute authority, so the boss/employee problem isn’t a factor. Besides, she’s technically actually the Janitors Assistant. It’s just that, the world is at stake and it seems wrong to fantasize about tearing the HRA right off of Emily Pope’s chest and running her fingers over her breasts. Ugh come on Jesse, you’ve forced an extradimensional resonant entity out of your head, you can do this. Jesse shakes her head to clear it, and focuses again on the Emily in front of her, who looks more than a little fushed. Jesse realizes she’s been staring

“…So, I’ll see you later then!” she says with a smile that seems forced, “Just wanted to let you know so you didn’t think I’d been abducted” she gives a shaky laugh, “Bye now!!”

And she’s gone, the door closing behind her so fast it’s like she’s been messing around with the Merry Go Round O.O.P. Jesse Blinks, feeling slightly taken aback. Was she, blushing? Why was she so awkward? Oh God, does she hate me? 

The thing about Jesse is, she’s not romantic. Never thought of herself that way. She remembers ‘coming out’ to Dylan when she was 10. He’s one of the only people she’s ever been able to talk about that stuff with. Then when Polaris entered the scene, she could tell immediately. Jesse felt kind of validated by that. I mean, if your so gay that even the extradimensional entity bonded to your mind can tell¸ it’s probably more than a phase. She’s hooked up with women before, in motels and at bars, or parties. Travelling on her own for most of her life doesn’t really lend itself to long term.  
She’s gone over a dozen ways to maybe think about possibly asking Emily out, but nothing seems to fit. At one point she even picked up the hotline to ask the Board, but all she got in reply was:

[We are/were to old/young for this shit, you are hopeless/on your own]

So that was helpful.

Jesse tries to get back into her work, looking over status reports on HRA production and the hunt for Dr. Darling, but her thoughts keep coming back to a certain department head. She seemed so awkward today. I mean most people don’t know how to deal with me (and vice versa), but this seemed like more than the usual forced formality. An icy pit settles in her stomach as she contemplates the possibility that Emily doesn’t like her.  
Oh god, what if I did something to upset her? Is she mad that I made her Head of Research? A thousand possibilities flicker through her mind, until it feels like the Hiss worming its way into her skull, insidious, doubting, pervasive.

Finally, she gives up the attempt to be productive, grabs the Service Weapon, and heads for the door. Maybe she’ll go down to Containment and blow the heads off some Hiss to vent her frustration. Maybe Langston in the Panopticon can offer some advice on the situation. I must be getting desperate.  
On her way down through Central Executive, towards the service elevator when something catches her eye. Through the open doors to the Board Room, she sees Emily Pope sitting at her makeshift desk, desultorily shifting some papers around. The thing is though, she looks like she’s been there for a while, and there’s no sign she’s budged since stopping by the Directors Office. It’s at this moment that several thoughts flash through Jesse’s mind:

What’s she doing, I thought she said she was getting food?

Wow, she looks pissed.

Wait no, she looks sad…

Why would she come by my office just to mention she was going to lunch? Unless…

And just like that, something crystalizes in her brain, like a black rock prism, only instead of amplifying Polaris’ resonance, it fans the hope she’s had ever since she’s been able to think again without the Hiss, or the Mold, or the life and death struggle of the bureau in the way.  
Slowly, like she’s levitating toward the conference table and the woman sitting at it, afraid she might fall down any second, she makes her way over.

“Hey” Ok real smooth Jesse, keep it smooth.

“So you look pretty hungry, huh?” Not like that

Emily stares up at her from a chart on A.W.E testimony. 

“So…” Jesse continues, praying she isn’t about to make a fool out of herself, “I’ve been working at the desk all day, and I kinda feel the need to stretch my legs, you up for a field excursion?”

Emily blinks, then raises her eybrows.

“Where did you have in mind?”

“Well, the Ranger teams have finally secured the cafeteria, care to show me what passes for real food in this place?”

Emily smiles, and the nervous awkwardness that Jesse hadn’t even realized was settling between them melts away.

“I’d love to”


	2. Memento

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily, contemplating her romantic ineptitude, flashes back to her memories of the Hiss.

Emily Pope: Head of Research at the Federal Bureau of Control, transdimensional researcher, social disaster. See, there’s this cute new Director, who is also somehow the Janitors Assistant, and she’s saving them all from the Hiss, and always finds time to talk with Emily, when she’d all but given up on finding romance in her line of work. To be honest, Emily knew she was cute from the minute they met, but over the course of their collaboration and saving the Bureau, she’s come to rely on her as one of the rarest, most special things in the bureau: a friend. And who knows, perhaps something else?

She just has to work up the courage to find out.

***

She still gets flashbacks of it. The Hiss, when it first arrived, gave no warning. She was down in Central Executive, running an errand for Darling. It seemed like all she did recently, as Darling became more and more obsessed with the Ordinary A.W.E. Darling is, was, a brilliant man, but he treated her like a glorified office temp, not a Doctor of advanced quantum physics. He’d shut himself in his lab, refusing to let her help, refusing to trust anyone. _Maybe if he had, I could have helped prevent it, or put a stop to the whole project…_

On this particular day, she’d been ordered to deliver a file to Trench. Darling of course trusted her enough to deliver it but not enough to tell her what it was. He’d also insisted, almost manically so, that she wear his new “HRA” devices. The director wasn’t in his office though. His secretary told Emily that he’d left urgently on unspecified business to another part of the bureau. Eventually she gave up, resolving to come back later. She was making her way down through Central Executive, crossing the lobby on the way to the elevator, when it happened.

The first thing Emily noticed was the quiet. The bureau usually was filled with office chatter, telephones, and typewriter keys, but not today. The second thing she noticed was that it wasn’t quiet. She became aware of a low chanting, murmuring monologue, though she couldn’t place the source. Then she realized that it was coming from the people around her, all in unison.

“Repeat the word. The name of the sound. It resonates in your house…”

***

It’s been a long day of filing reports, research, and compiling data from the rangers and the research teams. Actually, she doesn’t know if it has, because at this point she has no concept of time anymore. The Bureau doesn’t really do windows, and you can’t trust the clocks these days. She should be documenting the effects of Hedron’s fall on the non hostile Hiss, but she can’t concentrate. She keeps coming back to a certain new Director.

It’s not like she even knows if Jesse’s into women, although Langston swears he gets a Vibe off of her. _Then again, Langson treats altered items like pets, so what does he know._ Everything’s so confusing around here, but especially confusing when you might have a crush on your co-worker. The trouble with figuring out romance in the FBC is figuring out what is genuine feeling and what is just hormones from the thrill of almost dying every day. _Especially that day_. She thinks.

***

All at once her HRA lit up like a Christmas tree. The same instant a dozen bodies of her fellow coworkers, people she knew by sight if not by name, rose up as if pulled by puppet strings their bodies contorting and writhing as they levitated, and all the while the chant grew louder.

“This cliché is death out of time, breaking the first the second the third the fourth wall, fifth wall, floor; no floor: you fall!”

The walls of the Oldest House shifted, mutating into something unrecognizable, and Emily was conscious of Something trying to get into her mind, a scratching on the surface that she couldn’t place. She tried to think.

_Alright Emily, you need to remember your training, get to a Black Rock shelter to wait this out_. She made it to the door just as gunfire sounded and a half dozen bureau security agents rounded the corner, being fired upon by a squad of _infected_ soldiers. They were suffused with a red glow emanating from nowhere, and when one of them looked at Emily, she could tell that _something intelligent had done this_. She and the uncorrupted guards, all wearing HRAs, made it into the safe room and Emily Slammed the door to cycle it closed.

***

“Dr. Pope?”

Emily looks up and realized she’s read 15 pages of report in 5 minutes and remembers none of it. The other researcher in the room, the new assistant head of Research, looks at her concernedly.

“I’m fine, Grace” Emily assures her. “I think I’m going to go for a walk though, clear my head”

She stands up and, doing so, disturbs the rats nest of papers on her desk. Her eyes fall upon a personnel file, and it takes her a second to realize that it’s Jesse. A shot of her during a therapy session when she was being tracked for the Prime Candidate program.

_She looks so young, you scarred. Yet she still has that spark in her eyes, that desperation mixed with determination, and maybe hope._ She stares at the picture for a long minute, and then makes a decision.

***

For the next several minutes, or hours, or days, all that she heard was the creak of the ventilation and the breathing of her trapped colleagues. They spoke very little, but everyone wondered what could have compromised the bureau’s security, and how far the corruption spread. Everyone was on edge. People were looking at each other, and though no one said anything they were all thinking the same thing: _This had to have come from within the Bureau._ Their HRA’s blinked innocently, no one dared take them off. Gradually, the tiny Black Rock shelter became Emily’s own corner of hell. Silently, they waited for the all, clear, but it never came. Then, eventually, signs of life from outside the door. Gunfire, specifically.

“That sounds like the Service Weapon” one of the guards remarked, “The Director is here!”

It did indeed have the characteristic shot pattern found in only one gun in the Bureau. They listened to the sounds of gunfire slowly subside on the other side of the door. And Emily made a decision. She ran over to the intercom on the wall and jabbed at the button.

“Hello, Are you with us, with the Bureau, are you still sane?”

***

She walks quickly along the hall towards the Directors Office, quickly, so she doesn’t lose her nerve. Her knock is tentative, and she is about to try again when she hears Jesse beckon her in. Her heart flutters a beat.

Jesse’s pile of paperwork rivals her own, and the director doesn’t seem to want to look at her, her eyes darting down to her paperwork and back. Emily, for her part, is similarly evasive, though for different reasons. _C’mon Emily, just get it out, you study alternate dimensions for a living, you can do this._

“Just wanted to stop by and let you know that the Ranger teams have finally secured Executive, the cafeteria has been cleared as a safe zone”. She has no idea where she’s going with this but goodness she’s in it now and she’s not gonna stop. She barely registers Jesse’s acknowledgement and plows on ahead.

“Yeah! I mean, don’t get me wrong, The Oldest House stocks it’s vending machines pretty well, and the coffees great, but I’m so glad we’re getting at least an ancillary kitchen going. I mean, the one in Research is better, but I’ve had interdepartmental meetings before and this one’s pretty good so I was actually gonna go down there and grab something before returning to work, so…”

And just like that, she’s out of steam. Jesse pierces her with her signature stare and Emily blushes from her head to her toes. _This was a horrible mistake. She’s clearly not got time for this, and even if she did, she wouldn’t spend it with me._ After that it’s a mad scramble back out of the hole she’s dug herself into (though she’d now like to stick her head in an actual hole), and awkwardly extricate herself from the lab with what little remains of her dignity.

On the way back down to her impromptu office, it’s all Emily can do to keep from crying, or breaking into a run, or ripping her HRA off and letting the oblivion of the Hiss overtake her to spare herself the embarrassment. _That look she gave me, like she couldn’t understand why someone like me would presume to spend time with her. Like she had no designs on any kind of relationship outside of business, let alone friendship._ She stops off in the bathroom to collect herself, all thoughts of food gone, and eventually settles into her ‘desk’, content to let the paperwork keep piling up until it buries her.

***

“I can’t tell you how happy I am to talk to somebody sane” A voice that was definitely not Trench crackled through the speakers. Emily did a double take. If it wasn’t trench, who else was capable of wielding the Service Weapon?

“The feeling’s mutual, I’m Pope, Emily Pope, Dr. Darlings assistant” She ran through the very short Prime Candidate list and came up with only one name.

There was a long pause on the other end of the intercom.

“Jesse Faded” The name was spoken like a challenge, “I’m just visiting”

“Shit! You’re the new director!” Emily knew the name, but no face to match it. Still, Trench was gone and she wielded the Service Weapon, it must mean the situation was stabilized.

“Hold on” she motioned to the guards, who were looking slightly more invigorated now “we’re coming out”

***

Emily didn’t come out until she started working at the Bureau. She’d been into girls before, but had never felt comfortable talking about it to anyone. Then suddenly she was working at this place full of supernatural artifacts and unexplained phenomena, and being a lesbian seemed positively mundane. Arish was the first person she told, though it was partly cause she had a sneaking suspicion he had a crush on her. After that it was just another part of her. She even connected with Langston and a couple other queer people, and her circle of friends grew. She tries not to think about how many of them are dead, or worse.

Three failed attempts at getting work done, and she’s ready to find a bench somewhere to sleep and call it a day. She feels kinda rotten, and not seeing the sun for 36 hours can really throw off your circadian rhythm. She’s about to ‘clock out’ as it were, when a shadow crosses the table, obscuring the report she’s given up on reading.

“Hey” At the sound of Jesse’s voice Emily looks up. Jesse is striking as usual, but her face seems softer, kinder, l

Emily cycled the door to open and cautiously stepped out. The area was clear of hostiles, and the control point was once again stable. Then she focused on the face of her rescuer. A strong chin and short tied back hair framed a face that was cautious, with eyes that sparkled with something Emily couldn’t pinpoint. A leather jacket and dark jeans covered most of her skin, but in one hand was grasped a telltale matte black gun. The effect was on the whole, of someone accustomed to feeling out of place.

Emily regarded her, a rush of relief and gratitude and yes, attraction

“Director…?”

“Faden. Call me Jesse”

***


	3. Fractals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go to get coffee and it's Not A Date (except it is ;)

They’re going to get lunch together and it’s Not a Date. Jesse just keeps telling herself that this is not a date, because it’s _NOT a Date_. It’s just two co-workers, getting to know each other, getting dinner on a break.

Damn, though doesn’t she wish it was a date.

Technically, she doesn’t even know if this is dinner or breakfast or whatever. She’s stopped caring what time it is. The walk from Central Executive to the Executive sector cafeteria isn’t that long, but it feels like ages. They walk side by side, and Jesse tries to make small talk as they go.

“So, have you made any progress studying the HRA phenomenon?”

Emily starts, looks over at Jesse.

“Not yet, though we’re making definite progress. We’ve been able to correlate the HRA failure to your, well, possession by the Hiss” She hesitates, “When you escaped from the Hiss resonance, they all came back online. There’s something special about you.” She says this last bit thoughtfully, almost to herself. When she catches Jesse looking, she blushes.

***

She blushes, feeling those piercing not quite human eyes on her. She hadn’t meant for all that to come out, it just sort of did. She’s glad she said it though, Jesse should know that she’s special, even if there’s nothing going on here. She suddenly remembers those awful minutes when Hedron fell, when she was overcome by the Hiss. She kept seeing Jesse flirting with Dr Darling, their faces haughty and condescending as they looked down on her and whispered behind her back. The thought makes her shudder, and she feels a hand on her shoulder. She looks up into those selfsame eyes, and sees nothing but concern reflected in them.

”I’m fine” she manages. Then, “Thanks though, just remembered something unpleasant”

Jesse nods, and takes her hand away. Emily feels cold where it rested on her shoulder.

“There’s a lot of unpleasantness to remember.”

They reach the dining area, which looks remarkably well put together considering how much fighting went on here. It’s as if the Oldest House keeps putting itself back together. There are a few off duty rangers and security personnel sitting around, but everyone seems a bit nervous still, like they’re waiting for the Hiss to come back. It’ll be a while before the Oldest Housefeels like home again.

***

They reach an unoccupied table and Emily takes a seat. Jesse has a moment of panic while she debates whether to sit down across from Emily or beside her. Se opts for across. A moment later she realizes her mistake, as she’s immediately distracted by Eimly’s dimples, and how cute her hair is, and her smile… _Holy Hades._ She takes a breath and focuses on looking at Emily’s eyes, hoping she doesn’t notice how her own dart down to the other woman’s mouth. Emily’s eyes widen just slightly, _she noticed_.

***

The coffee in the Oldest House tastes like crap, though Emily doesn’t know what she expected. It is, after everything, still a government agency. They make small talk about the repair work, and the timeline for reopening the bureau, but nothing too serious. _This is good Emily, keep it casual for now, you don’t want to be too intense_. Then the conversation abruptly shifts to the original Hiss invasion, and Jesse is asking her questions about what it was like when the Hiss first came through. Emily tries to keep calm and professional, as she recounts the horrors of that day, but it’s hard. Still, she’s doing ok, until she’s not. When she gets to describing the look in the Hiss guards eyes, she falters, and feels the sting of tears behind her eyes. Jesse’s face softens in sympathy.

And that does it.

Before she knows what she’s doing, she’s breaking down in front of her not-boss, in the middle of the cafeteria. She chokes out the words in half sobs, all the fear that she’s buried under layers of scientific detachment coming to the surface. In a vain effort to steady herself, she closes her eyes and braces her hands on the table trying to regain composure. That’s when she feels a hand take her own.

“It’s ok, hey” Jesse’s voice is steady, though her eyes swim with unspilled tears of their own, she looks slightly awkward, though trying to do her best, “It’s ok, take a deep breath”.

Emily tries to compose herself, but she feels like curling up inside of herself. Jesse never flinches away though, she keeps her hand resting on Emily’s own, gently rubbing her thumb in circles across Emily’s knuckles. She does this for at least two minutes, until the worst of it subsides like a flood, leaving Emily gasping on it’s shore.

“I’m sorry” she gasps out, “I must seem like such a wreck to you”

Something unreadable crosses Jesse’s face “No, that’s not it at all. There are times when I feel like I’m falling to pieces too.”

They look at each other, and some kind of loneliness that Emily’s been feeling for days releases, just a bit. She manages a smile.

“I guess I forgot to mention, working hear can take a lot out of you”

“I know” Jesse smiles back takes Emily’s hand in her own, “maybe we can work on that together?”

“Yeah” And even though she still doesn’t feel remotely ok, she can finally imagine getting there someday.

“Together”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a hard turn into some hurt/comfort, which I was not expecting, but I think it worked out well. Hope you enjoyed reading! Thank you for at least making it this far! I'd love your feedback. Also this is my first work posted so be kind (or don't but do be honest)


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